Babies should sleep in a safe place where parents can hear them (if necessary, with a baby monitor). The safest bed seems to be a well-maintained crib that meets federal safety standards. One study found that babies who slept in their parents’ room, but not in their parents’ bed, had a reduced risk of SIDS. During the first three or four months especially, when babies wake frequently and seem especially fragile, many parents like to have them sleep next to the parents’ bed, usually in a crib, bassinet, or cradle. Whether you’ll share your room with your baby is largely a matter of personal preference. Studies indicate that babies and mothers who sleep in the same room are aroused from sleep more often, so their sleep is broken. If babies are breastfeeding, they have more frequent and larger night feedings until a later age.

As your baby grows, you may want to let her share a room with another child or move her to a room of her own. Your decision will depend on practical questions and the space in your home. Unless you are planning to continue sharing your room with the baby, it’s usually easier to move her to her permanent room if you do it during the first six to nine months. After that, separation anxiety may make it harder for your baby to sleep alone until she is about two years old.

The Family Bed Debate

In the United States, it is common for older babies and children to sleep separate from their parents. Most U.S. child-care experts say this promotes better sleep for parents and children, builds independence and a sense of confidence for children, makes intimacy easier for parents, and, in the preschool years, avoids heightening the normal Oedipal conflicts (the conflicts that children feel over their love for the parent of the opposite sex and their rivalry with the parent of the same sex). Others argue that it is natural for parents and children to sleep together, as people in many parts of the world do. Even in the United States, these advocates note, surveys show more than a third of parents often share a bed with a child, and far higher numbers do it occasionally. Advocates say that with infants, bed sharing or “the family bed,” as it is sometimes called, can promote breast-feeding, bonding, and a sense of security among children.

The commission’s position is based on a study that showed 64 deaths a year associated with bed sharing, compared to 50 deaths a year attributed to cribs—mostly old, substandard cribs. (Because we don’t know how many babies sleep in each setting, we can’t be sure how the risks compare. But because fewer babies are believed to share beds than sleep in cribs, bed sharing probably increases the risk more than these figures might suggest.)

The main risks of bed sharing were that the baby would get caught between the bed frame and the wall, furniture, or mattress. “Overlying,” in which the parent accidentally smothers the baby, also occurred but was more rare. Almost all the deaths occurred in babies younger than 12 months. So if you do want to share a bed with your child, waiting until he’s one year old can virtually eliminate the risk. Advocates of bed sharing say the study did not take into account whether the adults drank, smoked, or had other characteristics known to raise the risks of bed sharing.

For those in the middle of the debate, an alternative is a side-sleeper or cosleeper; this is a three-sided crib that attaches to an adult bed on its open side. If installed safely, this puts your baby within easy reach for breast-feeding but gives him space of his own that can be kept free of blankets, pillows, and the heavy bodies of adults.

If you do want to share your bed with your baby, follow these tips: