Defined as “the spontaneous activity of children,” play is invaluable; it allows kids to expand their understanding of themselves and others, and it fosters their ability to communicate.
Play is more than just fun. It’s activity that builds self-esteem and confidence, especially when parents take an active role. As your child’s favorite playmate, the value of the time you spend playing with him can’t be overstated. Children who are “answered” by a smile when they coo or are praised for building a tower of blocks learn that they have something valuable to offer to the larger world. In addition, play provides important opportunities for physical exercise, which promotes fitness as your child grows into adulthood.

When a baby shakes a rattle and it makes a noise, he learns about both cause and effect and coordination. He learns balance and spatial relationships when he reaches up toward a mobile hanging in his room.

Your child’s doctor might ask you questions to determine whether your baby’s play is developmentally appropriate for his age. These questions may include whether he’s playing peekaboo, pulling himself up in the crib, reaching for objects, covering things and then uncovering them, and so forth. Remember that children develop at different rates, but if your child hasn’t reached a certain expected milestone, you can create developmental opportunities for him—by showing him how to play peekaboo, or roll over on the floor, or shake a rattle.

Stages of Play

As your child grows, you’ll probably see these common stages of play:

• Infant play involves experimenting with body sensation and movements. A 6- month-old pushes a ball and learns that he has caused the movement. He knows that if he wants the ball to move again, he has to push it. A 12-monthold shakes a rattle to hear the noise it makes and feel the shaking sensation.
• Between 12 and 18 months, children begin to explore imaginative play. You may see your child feed his teddy bear with a spoon and cup or use a banana as a telephone. Also, every game of peekaboo and patty-cake teaches your child how to interact with others and to take turns.
• Between 18 and 36 months, it’s time for pretend games that mimic the world around him—raking leaves, feeding baby doll, and having a tea party are all fun ways to be “like you.” This is also when you’ll see a cardboard paper towel roll become a trumpet and your bathroom towels transformed into superhero capes. Children this age like to be with other children, but they don’t really play with others; they do what’s called “parallel play,” in which they play independently alongside another child without actually interacting.

• Four- and five-year-olds are experts at having fun. Through imaginative play they’ll build skyscrapers with blocks and action figures with clay. And they love formal games that have rules and “right” and “wrong” ways of doing things. Board games like Chutes and Ladders become favorites. These kids are ready for group play and enjoy games like ring-around-the-rosy and hideand- seek.

Helping Your Child Play

Promote your child’s development through play by following these tips:

• Think like a child, be imaginative, and play with your child.
• Choose toys according to age and ability.
• Create childproof, safe, and unrestricted play space.
• Provide playthings that promote exploration and adaptability.
• Keep toys at your child’s eye level, and rotate them to avoid boredom.
• Say, “You’re playing so nicely” and “I like the way you’re sharing.”

It’s also important to give your child a chance to play with other kids while reaping the benefits of physical exercise. Playgrounds are designed specifically for his purpose. Baby exercise classes, playgroups, and preschool classes are also perfect settings for your child’s first experiences with socialization. A side benefit of these organized venues is that through your child, you get to meet other parents who have similar interests and concerns.

Choosing the Right Games, Activities, and Toys

Here are some suggested toys for kids of various ages:

• For the three- to six-month-old: Handheld toys, mobiles, unbreakable mirrors (attached to the side of the crib or next to the changing table), sensory toys that make noises, and rattles (Music boxes and tape players entertain even the youngest children. It’s never too early to turn your child on to music.)
• For the six- to nine-month-old: Busy boards (attached to the side of the crib); soft dolls and stuffed animals; balls for rolling back and forth or crawling after; household items such as pots and pans, plastic measuring cups, and wooden spoons; wooden or soft blocks; toys that move (cars or toys that pop up when the right spot is touched); and books (with cardboard pages and bright pictures)
• For the nine- to twelve-month-old: Push toys for exercising recently acquired walking skills, balls for throwing (while standing!), textured and flap books such as Pat the Bunny, blocks for stacking, and a pail and shovel for the playground sandbox
• For toddlers: Large cardboard building blocks for building walls and forts, wagons and other push-and-pull toys, sorting and nesting toys, climbing gyms, washable crayons and markers, ride-on vehicles, tool bench and/or toy kitchen, and picture books
• For preschoolers: Ride-on toys like tricycles and wagons, balls for playing catch or basketball, art supplies such as washable paint and big brushes (set up
where it’s OK to make a mess!), percussive instruments, dress-up clothes, play dishes and food, construction toys, and puzzles and other manipulative toys.

When choosing toys for your child, don’t drive yourself crazy over the gender issue. Should girls play with stuffed animals or trucks? Should boys cuddle a baby doll or a superhero? Some people believe that stereotypes of gender roles are communicated to children through the toys they play with, but this is not really a right or wrong issue. Why not give your children both dolls and trucks and both stuffed animals and superheroes—let them decide which ones they like best. The important thing is to choose toys that are educational, safe, and, most of all, fun.

Toys should always be chosen carefully, and safety must be the first priority. Any home that houses a baby or toddler should be childproofed, meaning that anything that could hurt a
child should be removed or blocked To avoid choking hazards, toy parts should be no smaller than the hole at the end of a cardboard toilet tissue roll until your child is three years old. They should be well made and in good condition. Cords can be dangerous to babies and toddlers because they can get wrapped around their necks, as can soft toys in cribs where they can pose breathing hazards for young infants.

Play and Social Skills

If you watch your child play with other children on the playground or in playgroups, you’ll see social-skills training in action. They learn through trial and error (and a few experiences with pushing and hitting) how to share, how to be considerate of others, how to show good manners, and how the way you act influences how others act toward you. You alone can’t teach your child all these things—the have to be experienced.

If your child seems to be lagging behind other children in social skills, you may be able to help by encouraging basic social activities. Even a young child can practice introducing himself to new people, starting a conversation, showing others he is interested in them, and learning how to join a group activity. Parents can playact social situations and model appropriate social skills. Beyond this, you should consult your child’s doctor if you feel that your child needs more help than you are able to give.